So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
