the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
