so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
We're too hungover to prance.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize
