wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
