butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
tell your sister to shave her snatch
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Randomize
