hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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