i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
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