butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Randomize
