Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
