We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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