grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
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