Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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