i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
