On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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