We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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