Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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