Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Randomize
