That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
