just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
