Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I could fuck to npr.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize
