I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
