so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
He shit in the fireplace
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
