Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize