How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Randomize
