I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
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