Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
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