so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Randomize
