my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
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