My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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