Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Randomize
