Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
