I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize