We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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