While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Randomize
