I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
my sisters under your porch take her home
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
