i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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