I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Randomize
