you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Randomize
