She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
this just has baby written all over it
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
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