My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Randomize
