"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
whose ass print is on the piano?
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Why are your pants in the freezer?
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
