How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
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