And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
