Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
