yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
