"it" just moved
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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