I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
