i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Randomize
