Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
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