i jhust puked up my retainher.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Randomize
