why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
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