did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Randomize
