Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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