i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
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