Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Randomize
