p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Randomize
