break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
