yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
