Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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