I don't think brook has ever known best
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Randomize
