Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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