Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Randomize
