i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Why is there bacon in the couch?
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
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