conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
