erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
