I am puke
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
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