I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Randomize