You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Randomize
