Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Randomize
