It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
My first STD was from a foam party
someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Randomize