well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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