kristin has been a bad kristin
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
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