I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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