Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Randomize
