Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
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