well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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