Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
