I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
You're so nebulous sometimes
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Randomize
