You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
