sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
