yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize